101 Ways to Cure Boredom
by whitewingedsoldier
Summary: Sora and Riku are bored. And when we say bored, we mean BORED! How can they stop this madness? Read and find out. [Note: No updates until people review! So get on with it!] Updated!
1. We're BORED!

Kingdom Hearts – 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

**(White runs on stage, dragging Sora and Riku along)**

**Sora: Ow, hey, QUIT IT! cries**

**Riku, sighing: Moron.**

**Sora: Shuddap!**

**Riku: Make me!**

**White, sweatdrops: Aaaanyway...we're just here to tell you that—**

**Sora, suddenly brightening: --that White doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix, or US! SO HA!**

**White, pouting: Dammit.**

**Riku: C'mon Sora, let's go get a shake.**

**Sora: Alright!**

**Chapter 1 – We're Bored!**

The sun was shining, it was a warm day, and the ocean looked just as inviting as ever. Ah, yes, it was a wonderful day to be alive. Except...

Sora and Riku were bored out of their minds.

And when they're bored out of their minds, it's literal. At the moment, they were sitting across from each other on the sand, eyes staring blankly, poking one another with random sticks.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

"What are we doing!" Sora suddenly jumped up and hurled his stick to oblivion, distracted momentarily as he watched it soar away. He wondered how far it had landed. Where was it, anyway?

**Somewhere far away...**

Cloud fainted dead away as a stick smashed into the side of his head. Aeris whipped out her cell phone and called 911, the FBI, and Domino's Pizza.

**Back on Destiny Islands...**

Riku blinked as he watched Sora fall into a fit of hysterics, screaming about sticks, boredom and more sticks. He didn't say a word until finally, Sora quieted. "Finished?" Sora nodded silently. "Good." Riku smacked Sora forcefully with his stick and then sent it flying. It, too, sailed out of sight.

**Somewhere else far away...**

Tidus choked on the cheeseburger he was eating as a stick smashed into his side. Wakka attempted to perform the Heimlich Manuever as Selphie dashed to the phone and called 911, the CIA, and Taco Bell.

**Again, back on Destiny Islands...**

"Now that we're finished mauling people with sticks, can we find something to do?" Sora whined, clinging to Riku's leg as the silver-haired teen walked across the beach. "Only if you promise to be quiet as we figure it out. And let go of me." Sora received a smack upside the head for his trouble. Whimpering, he released Riku and sank to following him as they searched for Kairi.

As Sora and Riku rounded the corner, with Sora still clutching his aching head and crying occasionally, they heard the sound of someone singing. And it wasn't...that great, either. "Shh, listen." Riku bent down and Sora followed suit, as they listened to the mysterious voice. It sounded like a female's. And as they listened, they heard:

_Who lives in a pineapple under the sea,_

_Spongebob Squarepants!_

_Absorbant and yellow and porous is he,_

_Spongebob Squarepants!_

_Whose nautical nonsense is something you wish,_

_Spongebob Squarepants..._

This went on for several more verses until Sora snapped and began to sing along. Riku clapped his hands over his ears and shut his eyes, thinking, _please let it stop, please let it stop..._

Sora, who was now dancing around in random circles to the song, managed to trip and fall over nothing (except maybe his shoes; those are big!) and land on the other side of the boulder he and Riku were hiding behind. Spitting sand from his mouth, he waved and yelled, "HI KAIRI!" Riku's eyes snapped open and he ran out from behind the boulder to find Kairi carving a pineapple on the other side.

"Hi Sora, hi Riku." She waved to them and then went back to carving her fruit. Riku blinked and Sora offered to help. That was, until something came flying through the air and smashed into Sora's head.

Sora fell facedown into the sand, twitching occasionally and muttering something about chocolate chip cookies. Standing a little ways away were Cloud and Tidus, armed with coconuts and looking murderous. "Throw the next one a little harder," Cloud urged Tidus, who nodded and loaded his patented coconut cannon™ with the next missile.

Riku blinked again and backed away, amazed that someone like Tidus could invent such a thing. Cloud pulled back his arm to throw the next coconut, but tripped over his cape and fell to the ground. Tidus chose that time to randomly fall asleep where he stood and fall over on top of Cloud. Sora, who had by now gotten up from the ground, stared at them with eyes the size of dinner plates. "Does that mean we win?" Riku and Kairi stared at him. "Uh...yes, Sora. It does." Sora jumped up happily. "Yay! This calls for a celebration!" He pulled out a bar of chocolate and ran off with it, taking a big congratulatory bite as he did so.

Riku and Kairi exchanged blank looks.

**The End – Day One**

**(A/N: So, how'd you like it? Not bad for my first try at a KH fanfic I'll post the next chapter with the accepted amount of reviews. Flames will be used to cook next morning's breakfast for Sora and co. Happy reading!)**


	2. Blitzball

Kingdom Hearts – 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

**I love you guys! I didn't think I was gonna get any reviews, but I did! Since you've all been so good to me, as promised, here's Chappie 2! Thanks to all my reviewers for Chapter 1:**

**KDeo: ** Thanks so much! You were my first reviewer! I just sorta write down whatever pops into my head...glad you liked it so much! Keep reading to see what other craziness Sora, Riku and the gang get into...

**Tangora:** Yeah, it DOES make you wonder! Hmm...I bet there are a lot of random things with holes burned in them or something...and Tidus gives you permission to use the coconut cannon. But JUST THIS ONCE! XD

**timberfox:** Wow, enthusiasm! LUV!

**(Spotlight on Sora as he sits cross-legged on the stage, chewing gum loudly and obviously)**

**Sora: Stupid Cloud...coconuts...I oughta bash his face in with a stick...grumble, mutter...**

**Riku, from offstage: Hey Sora, White says to do the disclaimer 'cause we're on in five minutes.**

**Sora, snapping out of his reverie: Huh? Wha? Oh, alright. stands and faces audience White doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix, or any of the characters. And watch what I can do!**

**(Sora blows a bubble with his gum, bigger, and bigger, until it pops all over his face...)**

**Sora: Uh, yeah, hehe...that wasn't supposed to happen...**

**Riku, with his face in his hands: We're doomed.**

**Chapter 2 – Blitzball**

By the time the ambulance, FBI, CIA, Domino's Pizza and Taco Bell had arrived in response to the emergency calls, no one was there to tell them who had called. So they left in a huff, exasperated, blaming random phone pranksters, telemarketers, and the government.

**Meanwhile, on Destiny Islands...**

Seeing as how Cloud had agreed to stay and 'play' with the others, and how there was now enough people to do something decent, Wakka and Tidus had agreed to teach the lot how to play blitzball...on one condition.

Tidus grinned as widely as was humanly possible as Wakka handed him a jar with ten quarters in it. "Alright, listen up. This is a blitzball." Wakka produced his signature weapon and held it up so that everyone could see it. "Question!" Sora raised his hand high into the air. Wakka looked at him. "What?" "Is it edible?" The group sweatdropped and decided not to ask.

"Anyway, the blitzball is what you use to play the game, ya? So your job is to put this into the other team's goal." Wakka lowered the ball and looked at his crowd of Sora, Riku, Kairi, Selphie, and Cloud. "Any questions so far?" "Yep!" Sora raised his hand again. Riku seized his arm and tried to yank it downwards, but only succeeded in getting a painful bite on the hand from Sora.

"What now?" Wakka blinked at Sora. "If you took 2 and multiplied it by 7 and then took the product and multiplied it by 5,389 and divided it by 3,000 and then multiplied it by pi squared and rounded it to the nearest tenth and divided it by 6, would it equal a duck?" Sora flopped over onto the ground from oxygen deprivation. Riku decided it would be best to just let him lie there for a while.

"Uh...anyways," Wakka continued, now looking creeped out, "Not everyone is a natural at blitzball. I happen to be one, though." He flexed his, err, manly muscles and winked at the crowd, most of which cringed. Kairi fainted and Cloud threw the pineapple that had been in her lap at Wakka.

"What he means is that you can't be the best at the beginning," Tidus offered, taking the blitzball from Wakka as he fell backwards into the sand with the pineapple on his head. "And not everyone is best at the same things. Some people are better at shooting, and others are better at tackling. In blitzball, you need to tackle the opponent to get the ball sometimes." Riku and Cloud nodded, seeing as they were the only audience members left conscious.

"If you have the ball, you can either shoot it at the other team's goal or pass it to another player on your team. Sometimes, though, the ball will get intercepted by the other team. Then you'll have to chase them down and beat them with a stick until you get the ball back. Except you might get fined and kicked off the team if you do that." Riku sweatdropped and a nerve above Cloud's eye began to twitch.

"There are also other things to think about, like moves that cause status effects or how powerful your opponents are," Tidus rambled on. "When you use 'Wither Tackle' on someone, you'll...blah blah blah...and their blocking...blah blah..." Cloud zoned out as Tidus talked...and talked...and _talked_...

**Ten minutes later...**

Cloud could not drive away the pounding migraine he now had, and the nerve above his eye was twitching uncontrollably. Sora and Kairi had been revived, and Sora dozed, snoring, his head dropping onto Riku's shoulder and drool falling from his mouth as he slept. Kairi had produced another pineapple from seemingly nowhere and was drawing on it with Magic Marker. Riku was trying to get Sora off him in disgust and Cloud was trying to stay sane as Tidus _still_ talked, completely oblivious to the reactions of the audience.

Wakka, too, had revived and was sitting, staring blankly at the sand as he waited for Tidus to be finished. Cloud finally snapped and jumped to his feet, yelling out, "Can't we just skip the explanations, the rules, the status changes and the overrated tutorial and just _play the damn game!_" This caused Sora to jolt awake and fall flat on his back in surprise, Riku to stare as though Cloud was a one-eyed alien, and Kairi to jump, her arms flailing, including the one holding the Magic Marker, giving Riku half a mustache and sending the marker flying into the horizon. "Aw, darn. My marker!" Kairi complained.

**Somewhere far away...**

Leon, Yuffie, and Cid were sitting in the Traverse Town Café trying to enjoy coffee when something splashed into Leon's mug, sending coffee flying. "OH MY STARS! THERE'S A MAGIC MARKER IN LEON'S MUG!" Yuffie screamed, causing the glass to shatter and Leon and Cid to go temporarily deaf as their eardrums malfunctioned.

**Back on Destiny Islands...**

"Sora, pay attention!" Riku screeched as Sora stood like a bump on a log, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. Wakka had appointed him 'Left Defender' on the practice team. "Huh? Wha—" Sora was cut off as the blitzball came down on his head, sending him flying backwards into the sand yet again. "I got it! I GOT IT!" Sora yelled, jumping to his feet and trying to catch the ball, only to see that it had rolled into their goal. Wakka hadn't let them actually play underwater yet, only above ground.

"Aw, nuts!" Sora stomped his foot as Selphie and Tidus high-fived each other. "Yours or Riku's?" Kairi asked. Riku goggled at her and Sora gasped in such a fake manner that he choked and staggered backwards, landing in the water. Kairi blinked and stated, "Well, you did say..."

Once Sora had gotten situated and had promised to play for real, he did a fantastic job of obtaining the ball and then shooting it into...his own goal. Oh joy.

"YOU MORON!" Cloud-the-offense-player raged as Sora cowered in his shadow. "You're supposed to aim at _their_ goal, not _ours_!" "But I couldn't help it! My legs hurt from falling over all the time and it was the closest goal!" Sora whined. This earned him a smack from Cloud and another blitzball thrown at him by Riku, who had abducted Kairi's pineapple to prevent her from decapitating anyone with it.

After a few more practice sessions, which at the end of, Sora was covered in blue bruises, Riku was applying cream to the sunburn he'd gotten while keeping Kairi's pineapple conveniently out of reach, Kairi was trying to reach her pineapple as though her life depended on it, and Cloud was lying on the sand sunbathing, Wakka finally decided that they could play a real game. The crew followed him to his 'underwater practice field' and divided up the teams like this:

**Team 1**

**Tidus (LF)**

**Wakka (RF/MF)**

**Sora (LD)**

**Selphie (GK)**

**Team 2**

**a moogle (LF)**

**Riku (RF/MF)**

**Cloud (RD)**

**Kairi (GK)**

"Wait a minute, why is there a moogle here? And why does _he_ just get to automatically play while we had to sit through an hour of tutorial!" Cloud growled. "Shut up! 'Cause the Captain says so, that's why. Plus, we were kinda short on players, ya?" Wakka shrugged. "And why do _I_ have to play _defense_!" Cloud continued on. "If you don't shut up I'm gonna kick you off the team you're on!" Wakka shot back, and Cloud fell silent, still glaring daggers at the orange-haired youth.

"Alright! Let's blitz!" Tidus shouted, and the game was on!

"BUT WHAT DO I DO!" Sora yelled, despite the fact that only bubbles issued from his mouth. He swam frantically in circles until he spotted the ball soaring towards him and managed to hit it away, by a good solid amount of luck and a good punching arm. Tidus gave him a thumbs-up and claimed the ball, swimming away until Sora couldn't see him anymore.

By the end of the first half, Sora discovered the score so far: Team 1, his team, had 2 points, and Team 2, Riku's team, had 1 point. So _that_ had been the ball he hadn't tried to go after. He had wondered what would happen if he just stood there and did nothing, and the result was a bunch of sparkly colors and a loud buzzing noise that hurt his ears.

Sora did a "wonderful" job in the next half, if by "wonderful" you meant "totally, utterly terrible". He let three balls get past him, and of course Selphie wasn't the best goalkeeper in the world, and so Sora's team ended up losing, 1 to 5. When the teams left the playing field, Riku saw the look on Sora's face and fell to the ground laughing hysterically for five minutes.

"Ha! You got your ass kicked by _a moogle_!" Riku gasped out in between howls; Sora threw a random crab at him. The moogle got peeved because Riku thought he wasn't good enough and so attacked the poor boy. There was a loud, horrified gasp, a scream, and then the ground began to shake as the moogle was captured and thrown off the island by a horde of screaming fangirls.

"THEY'VE DISCOVERED MY HIDING PLACE!" Riku screamed like a banshee and took off across the sand as he was chased back and forth by the mob. Sora blinked as, in the background, Cloud and the moogle celebrated their victory by doing a dance to the tune of "We Like to Party" (a.k.a. that one song on the Six Flags commercial). Kairi walked by with her pineapple in her arms, humming contentedly and drawing eyes on it with a new marker.

** The End – Day Two **

**(A/N: Wow, people love this thing! So here y'all go, an update! Any suggestions for next chapter? Please review if you want to see Chapter 3! Flames will be used to pop the popcorn that Sora eats on a daily basis.)**


	3. Now That We're Men

Kingdom Hearts – 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

**Wow, this fic's a great success! I've got so many reviews hugs all Thanks to the new reviewers:**

**shadows and sonic's girl: **Funny it sure was. Glad you liked it!

**timberfox:** Sora's always a moron. If you look at any of the KH fanfics, Sora's always the nut. He's also kind of, err, randomly stupid in the real Kingdom Hearts, but definetely not as much as the fanfiction authors make him. Hehe.

**Tangora:** WOW, you actually went and solved the problem! You deserve a medal for that! AND you put Tidus's coconut cannon in your fic! Dangit, I love you!

**(Spotlight on Riku as he looks around cautiously, stick in hand)**

**Riku, eyes darting left and right: Let's see...left side is clear...right side is...clear...am I safe?**

**Sora, dashing onstage and pouncing on Riku: Heeeeyyy Riku! You've got some visitors. They sure look happy to see you.**

**Riku, shaking Sora off: What kind of visitors?**

**Sora, grinning broadly: Well, there are a lot o' them! They're all outside, see... (pulls out remote and a flat panel TV drops down, turns on)**

**Fangirls waiting outside with signs and gifts: WE LOVE YOU RIKU! LET US IN!**

**Riku, eyes huge: Sora, GET THEM OUT OF HERE.**

**Sora, nodding: Done! Gimme your stick. grabs it and runs off**

**Riku, sighing: White doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix, or any of the characters. And I hope I don't get ripped to shreds...**

**Chapter 3 – Now That We're Men...**

It was a quiet morning on Destiny Islands. The sun had risen over the treetops, and it was bathing the entire beach in its glow. All was silent, except for the sound of the ocean lapping against the shore, and the wind blowing the leaves of the palm trees. No one had bothered to come outside yet, and so all was peaceful, undisturbed, calm. A bird perched on a tree near the shack, calling out to the morning—

And that was when a scream pierced the calm, shattering it into thousands of pieces along with the bathroom mirror.

Riku and Kairi, who had been silently eating breakfast inside the shack, bolted upright when they heard the shriek. Kairi dropped her toast and Riku spilled his orange juice all over the floor and his pants. Jumping from their chairs, they ran outside to see what had happened.

No one was outside. Kairi blinked and looked around. "No one's here." "But who screamed?" Riku asked, confused. "I definetely heard a scream." Kairi shrugged. "I heard it too...do you think someone's in trouble?" "If Sora got murdered, I don't care," Riku said stubbornly, turning away in a huff. "The world's better off that way." "Aww, Riku—" Kairi was cut off again by a similar-sounding scream.

"RIKU! KAIRI! YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Sora was racing towards his friends at top speed, holding his chin with one hand as though afraid it might fall off. Riku raised an eyebrow at him and Kairi just blinked again. "What happened? Did you grow tentacles?" Riku asked sarcastically. "No, even better! LOOK!" Sora gingerly removed his hand, and Riku squinted to see what he could...well, see.

"Sora, there's nothing there." Riku withdrew in exasperation. "There is too!" Sora pouted, running a hand over his chin as though determined to find whatever it was. "See, here, look again." Sora pinched something between two fingers and Riku leaned in to see again. He could still see nothing. "Sora, is this some kind of joke?" he asked. "No! I'm being honest! Kairi, _you_ try." Riku moved aside so that Kairi could try and look, too. "Ummm...I can't see any—no wait—oh, never mind. Nope. I can't see anything." Kairi backed away and Sora's face fell. "You really can't see it?"

"Alright Sora, we _can't see it_. Now what is it?" Riku asked, folding his arms. "Can't you tell? It's a **beard**!" Sora exclaimed proudly, puffing out his chest. Both Kairi and Riku made faces that looked something like this: oo

"Uhh, news flash, Sora...you don't have a beard," Riku said, still recovering from his momentary shock. "Yeah, don't you need to have at least one hair to count?" Kairi asked skeptically. "But I _do_!" Sora protested, looking annoyed. "That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Kairi squinted in confusion and Riku whipped out his magnifying glass. After much tedious searching, he finally discovered a nearly microscopic, short brown hair.

"So I guess you _do_ have one," Riku admitted, putting away his magnifying glass as Sora basked in the glow of being right. "But no one can see it with their eyes alone. That's why it doesn't count." Sora's face fell. "What?" "That's right," Riku said, nodding. "It doesn't even hold a candle to _this_." Riku reached off screen for a moment and pulled Cid onto the beach from seemingly nowhere. Sora eyed the unshaven man with disappointment. "Awwww..."

"On a different note, though, it means you've reached puberty!" Kairi said, and party horns blew as confetti fell from the sky. "Ugh, but then his voice will start changing and it'll get all...scratchy." Riku made a face. Sora stuck his tongue out at him, getting a mouthful of confetti as he did so. "TURN THAT THING OFF!" Sora shrieked at the guys who were operating the confetti machine, and they did what they were told. Because Sora is not very nice when he's mad.

"By the way, Riku," Sora noted, spitting confetti out of his mouth, "why do you have orange juice all over your pants?"

**Later that day...**

After Riku had changed clothes and the gang had finished eating breakfast, Sora led the way across the beach, determined to find someone else to brag around. No one else (a.k.a. Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie) seemed to care, though, and so poor Sora was left to run around trying to find a soul who cared. Cloud had left after realizing that the moogle from Chapter 2 had stolen his economy-sized bottle of hair gel and he was determined to get it back.

There was a crab slowly crawling across the beach, and as soon as Sora had laid eyes on it, he dashed over, skidding to a stop in front of it and spraying it with sand. "Hey Mister Crab! I got a beard! See?" Sora bent down to show the crab, and, with a look of annoyance, it reached up and clamped down on Sora's nose with its claw of doom.

"OHMIGOD RIKU THERE'S A CRAB ON MY NOSE!" Sora swung his head around in an attempt to get the crab off and only succeeded in tripping over his shoes again and falling flat on his face, and the crab, which caused the poor creature to clamp Sora's nose even tighter. "SOMEONE GET IT OFF!" Sora struggled with the crab for several minutes afterward as Riku and Kairi fell off their chairs laughing.

"THERE!" Sora flung the crab at Riku as he whirled around triumphantly, and the crab attatched itself to Riku's...chest. This caused Riku to jump off his chair with tears in his eyes and run off screaming while attempting to wrench the crab off with his hands and a pair of pliers that he had apparantly conjured from nowhere. Kairi was at the fainting point from lack of oxygen, and Sora was left standing there clueless as Riku spun in circles trying to get the crab off his...chest.

"DAMN YOU, CRAB! DAMN YOU TO HELL!" Riku screeched as he finally pulled the crab off and flung it into the ocean with all the force he could muster. Kairi was two steps away from hyperventilating and Sora was standing there blinking while taking pictures with an instant camera every once in a while. As Riku walked back to the two of them, he scowled, snatched the camera away, and instructed Tidus to smash it to pieces with his coconut cannon™.

**About ten minutes later...**

"WHO ELSE WANTS TO ENJOY THE GLORY OF MY BEARD!" Sora yelled across the beach; Riku and Kairi plugged their ears and winced. "You shouldn't do that, Sora...your voice hurts," Kairi said, still shying away from him. "Relax...let me handle this," Riku whispered to Kairi. She blinked at him. "SAY WHAT!" Sora yelled again, facing in Kairi's direction. "STOP YELLING!" Riku shouted, and Sora glared at him. "I WAS ASKING WHETHER OR NOT ANYONE WANTED TO ENJOY THE GLORY OF MY BEARD!" "NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR SO-CALLED 'BEARD'!" Riku shot back. Sora gasped and promptly started to cry.

"You...you...you BIG MEANIE!" Sora shrieked, taking off across the sand, retreating into the shack and slamming the door behind him with such force that a seagull fell off the palm tree beside it, three coconuts fell to the ground, and the door itself fell off its hinges. Yay, Sora.

Kairi glared at Riku. "Way to go, Mr. 'Let Me Handle This'." Riku's face fell, and then he looked positively dumbstruck as Kairi stalked off across the beach and out of sight. "What'd I DO!" Riku shouted at her retreating back as she disappeared from view. Only the sound of silence answered him. Yay, Riku.

**Meanwhile, in the shack...**

"Stupid Riku...grumble, mutter...insult ME..." Sora was shoveling large amounts of chocolate chip ice cream into his mouth while muttering insults and curses under his breath, trying to figure out how to get Riku back for making fun of him. Tuning the station on his radio, a song came on that Sora immediately liked. He brightened and began to sing along...

**Back outside...**

Riku walked along, hands in his pockets, heading towards the shack to apologize. But before he went inside, he heard something that warned him to stay away. FAR, FAR away. Sora was singing a song.

_Now that we're men,_

_We have facial hair,_

_Now that we're men,_

_I changed my underwear!_

_Now that we're men,_

_We've got a manly flair..._

Yep. If Sora was singing, he was in his happy place. And if he was in his happy place...well, enough said. Riku turned his back on the small wooden house and decided to just go play tic-tac-toe or something with Tidus.

** The End – Day Three **

**(A/N: w00t, the reviews just keep coming! Luv to this round of reviewers! Hope you enjoyed, and now might be a good time to mention requests! I'll put something you request in 101 Ways, but it must be NOTHING above PG-13. Pairings are fine, but keep it slight. No coarse language, etc. Got it? I will accept original characters, but there is a limit of two. Be the lucky one who makes it in! When requesting, be specific! Alright, that's it! And—flames will be used to roast hot dogs for the next night's weenie roast! YAY!)**


	4. Don't Play With Fire

Kingdom Hearts – 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

**I love you all! Thanks for making 101 Ways the fastest-growing fic I've ever written!**

**Koshou: **And the funness will continue! w00t!

**timberfox: **Fear him, timber. FEAR HIM. XD

**ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat: **Well, thank you! Geez, I dunno what to say...I never got such a compliment before! Gah, the rest of the song...I can't tell what the heck the guy's singing after that, so that's why I didn't put it in. I would've if it was clearer...sorry... --; Anyways, thanks so much! Keep checkin' back!

**Tangora: **Whew, thanks for reminding me. I guess we'll have to find a different method of cooking...yay, this calls for brainstorming (something Sora cannot do). About your characters, I'll see what I can do. Maybe I can fit one in somewhere along the way...

**The more reviews, the more chapters! And longer chapters at that! Enjoy yet another chapter—inspired by all of you!**

**(Spotlight on Kairi as she sits on the stage, listening to loud headphones)**

**Sora, running onstage and looking panicked: Kairi!**

**There is no response...**

**Sora, stopping: Kairi?**

**No answer...**

**Sora, shaking her: Kairi!**

**Nothing.**

**Sora, raising voice: _Kairi!_**

**Still, she doesn't answer.**

**Sora, yelling: KAIRI!**

**(Sora finally takes the headphones off and...Kairi falls to the floor)**

**Sora, eyes wide: Uhhh...anyways, White doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix, or the characters. Or Oscar Meyer. Or Disney. Or Spongebob. Hey, someone come get a medic in here!**

**Kairi: Ugh...**

**Chapter 4 – Don't Play With Fire**

Night was beginning to fall on the fourth day of mayhem on Destiny Islands, and at the moment, the crickets were chirping as Sora and Riku wandered along the beach, piles of an unidentifiable substance in their arms. (Big words XD)

"Come on Sora, isn't this enough? I think Kairi's almost got it," Riku pleaded, as Sora bent down to pick something up. "No!" Sora protested, scooping up whatever it was that he had dropped. "We need _more_!" That night was the night of the annual Destiny Islands weenie roast...and Kairi had sent Sora and Riku to look for more firewood.

"There, got it!" Sora chirped happily as he snatched the last piece of driftwood from the shore. "That's all the wood on the entire beach!" "Finally," Riku muttered under his breath as he turned around to where Kairi sat, in the distance, trying to get the fire lit. Why she had sent them to collect even more firewood when the fire wasn't even started yet was...beyond all logical thinking.

The two boys came to a stop beside the "fire" and Kairi, watching as she rubbed two sticks together in hopes of creating a small flame. Sora relaxed his arms and dropped all his firewood onto the sand (and onto Riku's foot, as he realized when said foot came into contact with his rear end). "So, Kairi," Riku said cheerfully, hiding Sora's whimpering form behind him, "any luck?" "Not even a little spark," Kairi groaned, dropping the sticks in disgust. "I give up, Riku. Maybe you should try." "Well, alright. I'll give it a shot." Riku sat down as Kairi backed away from the pile of sticks and twigs on the ground.

In the meantime, Sora had recovered, and as he watched Riku trying to light the fire, he suddenly realized something very, very important. "RIKU! WE CAN'T LIGHT THE FIRE BECAUSE THIS FIC DOESN'T HAVE ANY FLAMES!" His outburst caused Kairi to trip over the pile of firewood and fall flat on her face, and Riku to jump in surprise, just as he'd gotten one of the sticks to start burning. "Dammit Sora, look what you made me do," Riku scolded as they all watched the flaming stick fly far, far away...

**Somewhere far, far away...**

In the 100 Acre Wood, Winnie the Pooh was passing by Eeyore's stick house, the way he did every morning to say hello. "Hallo, Eeyore," Pooh exclaimed happily, watching the small gray donkey look up from the stream. "Hallo, Pooh," Eeyore replied gloomily. "Have you come to look at my house?" "No, I was just—" Pooh was cut off as the flaming stick fell from the sky and landed directly on Eeyore's house. Within seconds it had caught on fire and burned down to the ground, leaving only a small pile of ashes.

"I QUIT!" cried a voice in the background as the angry props guy burst out from behind a curtain. "That house keeps getting crushed, or destroyed, or blown away, and now it's burned down! THAT'S IT! I've had it!" He stormed off the set, leaving Pooh and Eeyore very much confused.

**Back on Destiny Islands...**

"Damn. There goes our campfire," Riku growled again, sighing. "_Now_ how are we going to light this thing?" "You didn't figure it out yet? It's so easy!" Sora exclaimed, sounding as though he'd known it all along. Kairi gaped at him. "Sora can _think_?" "Yep!" Sora grinned proudly. "Well then, tell us. How _do_ we light the fire?" Riku blinked at Sora, who folded his arms over his chest. "It's very simple, actually."

"And that is..." Riku and Kairi waited for Sora's response. "You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around...that's what it's all about," Sora said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Here, you try it." He placed his hands on Riku's shoulders and began spinning him in circles. Kairi blinked again. "Okay, Sora...you do that."

There was a small distraction as Cid ran across the beach holding a flamethrower and chasing a Shadow. All three teenagers turned to watch in silence as he turned it on, spewing flames across all of Destiny Islands, forcing Sora, Riku, and Kairi to dive into the ocean for cover. Sora emerged first, happily bouncing over to their campfire. "Hey, look! Cid got it started for us!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. Riku and Kairi could only blink...because unbeknownst to Sora, not only was the campfire lit...so was the majority of Destiny Islands.

"All right! Now we can start," Sora said, whipping out a package of Oscar Meyer weiners. "This reminds me of a song..." Riku and Kairi, who had just climbed out of the water, adopted shocked looks. "NO, SORA! NOT THE SONG!" But Sora was deaf to their shouts. He opened his mouth, speared a frank with a pointy stick, and began to sing,

_Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner,_

_That is what I truly want to beeeeee,_

'_Cause if I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner,_

_Everyone would be in love with meeeee!_

Sora finished his small song and looked up, blinking at Riku and Kairi's twitching forms on the ground. "Hmm, they must be hungry." He tossed them both flaming sticks on which charred hot dogs were speared. "You know, there's another song I know that would be great to sing around a _campfire_ like this one," Sora continued, taking a bite out of his hot dog, not caring that it was searing hot and blackened.

At the word 'song', Kairi shrieked and Riku jumped to his feet, but that might have been due to the fact that the stick with the hot dog on it had caused his hair to light on fire. Riku was forced to dive into the ocean again and Kairi flung the burning hot dogs after him, which were devoured by Tidus, who had been hiding behind a rock.

Riku climbed from the ocean again, soaking wet and dripping, glaring at Sora. "All..._right,_" he hissed through clenched teeth. "You can sing your song." Sora grinned happily. "Thanks!" He took several deep breaths, and then pulled out a guitar from seemingly nowhere, strummed it a few times, and then played along to this tune:

_Let's gather 'round the campfire and sing our campfire song,_

_Our c-a-m-p-f-i-r-e-s-o-n-g song,_

_And if you don't think we can sing it faster, then you're wrong,_

_But it'll help if you just sing along!_

Riku and Kairi plopped down onto the ground, listening. Sora actually was quite a good singer when paired with an instrument. Suddenly, Wakka came out of the shadows and said in a low tone, "Bum bum bum," scaring the bananas out of Riku and Kairi, and then Sora picked up the pace.

_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!_

_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!_

_And if you don't think we can sing it faster, then you're wrong_

_But it'll help if you just sing along!_

_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!_ Tidus!" Sora pointed to Tidus, whose mouth was full of marshmallows, and he sang the next verse,

_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!_

_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!_

...spewing bits of marshmallow all over Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Wakka. Sora didn't mind; he kept strumming his guitar to the tune, now covered in small, white-and-black pieces of goo. "Riku!" he cried, pointing to Riku, still playing...but Riku sat there silently. Sora seemed to think that he had been singing, however, and so cried, "Good!"

_But it'll help, it'll help,_

_IF YOU JUST SING ALONG!_

Sora jumped from the top of a coconut tree, where he had mysteriously vanished to, and slid in the sand, carrying the last note rather loudly and badly. When he had finished his song, he flung his guitar as hard as he could over the ocean and far, far away...

**Somewhere far, far away...**

Roxas spat out his oatmeal as a guitar smashed into his back, sending him flying across the table and face-first into Axel's Cheerios. The blonde sputtered and made lots of wild hand gestures, overturning the Cheerios box and the milk, which spilled onto the floor. Axel blinked and peeled Roxas off his cereal, picking up the guitar and raising an eyebrow at it. "Looks like Demyx is mad again..."

**Back on Destiny Islands...**

"Yay, wasn't that exciting!" Sora clapped enthusiastically along with Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie, who hadn't even contributed to the song. Riku nodded blankly and Kairi fell over twitching once more. Sora blinked at them, shrugged, and then popped a marshmallow into his mouth. It had been a good day for _him,_ at least.

** The End – Day Four **

**(A/N: And it's another fabulous chapter of 101 Ways! TWO whole songs! KH2 cameos! More to come eventually; I haven't worked on this fic since KH2 came out; I've already played through it but conveniently forgot this fic existed. Hehe...yeah. Anyways, thanks to everyone! Look for another chapter with KH2 characters soon! Oh yes...flames will be used to launch burning coconuts at airplanes! MWAHAHAHA!)**


	5. Prank Calls and Tacos

Kingdom Hearts – 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

**Yay to last chapter's round of reviewers!**

**Haloisnotamongoose: **Thanks for the suggestion! I was out of story ideas anyways...it came just in time!

**Perfectally-insane: **Yeah...it was kind of a harsh punishment for Roxas. XD

**Whoa, what happened? Only two reviewers this time? Oh well. Maybe Chapter Five will get more! And as promised—the KH2 folks have arrived! Oh, and a warning to you—slight Xemnas/Saix yaoi in here. Very, very slight.**

**(Spotlight on Roxas as he stares into a mirror with a hairbrush in his hand)**

**Roxas, singing into the 'microphone': I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts! And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan, New York, and Japan!**

**Xigbar, running on stage with papers in his hand: Yo Roxas, we have to be on in thr—what are you doing?**

**Roxas, dropping his brush: Nothing...nothing at all...hehe...**

**Xigbar: I could've sworn I heard someone singing in here...oh well. We're on in three.**

**Roxas, still singing quietly: I'm a model, you know what I mean...**

**Xigbar: Excuse me?**

**Roxas: Oh, I meant...I'll be right there! Yeah.**

**Xigbar: Okay...good. Oh yeah...White doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix, or the characters. She also doesn't own Napoleon Dynamite or Taco Bell. Or Pizza Hut.**

**Sora, from offstage: That wasn't mentioned in the other chapter with Taco Bell in it!**

**Xigbar: Well, it is now. You're supposed to be getting ready!**

**Sora: On it!**

**Roxas: I'm too sexy for my cat! Whatcha think about that!**

**Chapter 5 – Prank Calls and Tacos**

It was a very quiet night at the Castle that Never Was. A very, very quiet night. So quiet that you could hear Luxord's snoring from three floors above him. Yep. A quiet night. Demyx was currently sitting on a sofa in the lounge, staring into space as Roxas read a book and Xigbar dozed. Different things were going through Demyx's mind—the notes to his favorite song, how Axel had stolen his sitar, how there was a cheese shortage in the kitchen—

And that was when the phone that was conveniently placed right next to Demyx rang loudly, causing Xigbar to wake up and jump off the sofa, Roxas to drop his book on the floor, and Demyx to become so scared that he fell off the sofa onto the floor. Demyx picked himself up off the floor and wished that the phone would stop ringing, but it just kept ringing! "Will someone please get that?" Xaldin's voice echoed down the stairs. "You heard the man," said Xigbar, motioning to Demyx. "Pick it up."

His heart still racing—oh, whoops. Nobodies haven't got hearts.—Demyx picked up the phone and put it to his ear. "Hello?" "Did the chickens have large talons?" Demyx blinked. "Huh?" "Tina, you fat lard! Come and get your dinner!" "Excuse me? Who is this?" Demyx stared at the phone as though it was possessed. "Moooooooo!" came the voice on the other line, punctuated by laughter. "I'm gonna hang up now!" Demyx threatened. "I am your father!" yelled the voice. "Okay, I'm hanging up!" Demyx set the phone back on the receiver, and several different voices upstairs began to howl with laughter.

"What happened?" Demyx asked, turning to face Roxas. "They must have been listening on the other phones," Roxas said, pointing upwards. "Oh...well, whatever. I just hope whoever it was doesn't call again," said Demyx, sitting down on the sofa again. No sooner had he said those words than the phone rang again. This time, Demyx didn't move. The phone rang on...and on...and on...

"Demyx, pick up the phone!" yelled Larxene from upstairs. "Fine!" Demyx grabbed the phone again. "Hello?" "Hello, Pizza Hut? I'd like to order ten medium pizzas please," said a voice. It was different from the first caller. "Um, I think you have the wrong number," said Demyx. "No way! I checked it three times!" argued the voice. "Can I have driving directions to come pick up my pizzas?" "No, listen...you really do have the wrong number," said Demyx slowly. "This is the Castle that Never Was." "Oh...alright. LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU! Bye." The person on the other line hung up.

Demyx put the phone back, and then slowly turned around. Roxas was staring at him in confusion, and Xigbar was already fast asleep. Upstairs, the people who had been listening in on the phone conversation were laughing harder than they ever had in their lives. Luxord threw a shoe out his door, and it crashed into the wall of the hallway. "GODDAMMIT! Shut up out there! Some of us are trying to SLEEP!"

**On Destiny Islands...**

Sora and Riku were currently lying on the ground, paralyzed with laughter. "Oh, that last one was a good one," Sora gasped, pointing to Riku. " 'Look out behind you'! I wonder if he really looked." "He sounded like the guy who would've," replied Riku, wiping his eyes. "Oh man...we have to do this more often." "Okay! Time to get changed." Sora ran off and reappeared in a ninja outfit, armed with toilet paper. "Time to go TP some houses!"

"Make sure you don't get caught like last time," warned Riku, opening the door. "I'll stay here and do some more prank calls." "Okay! See you in a bit!" Sora ran out the door, and Riku went back to the phone. "Okay...hmm...who to call...oh! I know!"

**The Superior's Room**

Xemnas nearly suffered a heart attack—oops. Not again.—as his cell phone suddenly began to vibrate on his desk. He pulled himself from his bed and grabbed the phone, turning it on. "You'd better have a good reason for calling me this late!" "Hi, I'm calling to confirm your order," said the voice on the other line. "Order?" Xemnas blinked. "I don't recall—" "Oh yes, it says right here. Five DVDs from our adult catalog," said the voice. "What?" Xemnas's eyes widened. "Someone's been ordering from an adult catalog?"

"It says that the order was placed using this number," said the voice on the other line. "This number?" Xemnas's mouth was hanging open. "Who could've gotten my cell?" "I don't know, sir, but we can't send the DVDs until the order's confirmed," said the voice. "What...what kind of DVDs are they?" Xemnas asked. "Five brand-new DVDs from the Q section of our catalog," replied the voice. "Q?" Xemnas blinked again. "Yeah—Q for QUEER!" The voice on the other line burst out laughing and hung up, leaving Xemnas staring at his phone.

"Adult catalog..." He shook his head and put the phone back, and then yawned and climbed back into bed. "Saix, move OVER!"

**Back on Destiny Islands...**

Sora pulled back his arm and threw a roll of toilet paper up onto the roof of a house. It wrapped around the chimney and dropped down onto the other side. Sora snickered. "That'll show them! This is payback for Halloween!" He was forced to duck the next instant as a coconut came flying at his head. "Whoa, what the...?"

"Prankster! Go away!" yelled a voice, and Sora turned around to see Tidus standing there, coconuts in hand. "Tidus?" Sora asked. "I won't ask how you know my name! Just get out of here!" Tidus yelled. "No, wait—it's me! Sora!" Sora yelled, as Tidus launched another coconut. "Yeah right! How do I know that you didn't kill him and devour his corpse?" Tidus demanded, pulling out his stick. "Get outta here before I teach you a lesson!"

"No, it's really me!" Sora suddenly realized that he was still wearing his ninja outfit and pulled his hood down. "See?" "You stole his body! Phantom prankster thief! Go away!" Tidus swung his stick and it connected with the side of Sora's head. "Ow!" "Ghosts can't feel pain! Back! Back!" Tidus swung madly with his stick, smacking Sora on the head, back, and arms. "I'm going, I'm going!" Sora ran back to where Riku was still on the phone.

**Riku's house**

"You got caught again," said Riku, shaking his head as Sora pressed ice on the bump on his head. "It wasn't my fault!" Sora snapped, pouting. "Stupid Tidus. What's he doing awake?" "Maybe you should ask him," said Riku, flipping absentmindedly through the phone book. "Did you call anyone else while I was gone?" Sora asked. "Yeah..." Riku stopped and stared at the name of the person he had found. "Your turn," he said, handing the phone to Sora. "Call this number..."

**A certain someone's room...**

The phone on the nightstand began to ring, and a girl's hand reached out and picked it up. "Hello?" asked a sleepy voice. A song came out of the other end:

_Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!_

_Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh!_

_HEY!_

_Jingle bells, jingle bells..._

The girl stared at her phone. "Hello?" she repeated.

_It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all..._

"Sora? Riku? Is that you?" the girl asked.

_I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs!_

"Don't make me come over there," warned the girl.

_I love you, you love me, we're a great big family—_

"That is IT! I am SO coming over there and wringing your necks!" Kairi screamed, throwing the phone down, putting her slippers on and stomping out the door.

**Back at Riku's house**

Sora and Riku were currently trying to breathe as they lay slumped on the table, laughing so hard it hurt. "Holy..._crap_," Riku managed to choke out, as Sora took deep breaths. "We'd better hide before Kairi comes and tries to decapitate us with a hamster or something," said Riku, looking around. Sora nodded and ran to the fridge, jumping inside and closing the door as someone pounded on the front door to the house.

"Oh crap! She's here!" Riku dove inside the kitchen cabinet, smacking his head on some of his mother's pots and pans. "Ow!" "Shuddap!" Sora hissed from the fridge. The front door fell off its hinges as Kairi kicked it in and stormed inside. "I know you're in here somewhere! I can feel it!" she growled. Riku clapped a hand over his mouth so that Kairi wouldn't hear him breathing, but it seemed that she had supersonic ears. She yanked open the cabinet door and pulled Riku out by the hair.

"Not the hair!" Riku squirmed, and Kairi threw him down onto the ground. "Where's Sora?" she demanded. "I, I don't—" "Where's SORA?" Kairi took off her left slipper and held it up threateningly. "In the fridge!" Riku moaned, cowering on the floor. Kairi lowered the slipper and dragged Sora out of the fridge by the ear.

Once Sora had been thrown down on the floor as well, Kairi smacked both of them upside the head with a slipper, but before she could begin her 'what's-the-big-idea-about-calling-me-after-midnight' speech—the phone rang.

Sora slowly stood up and picked up the phone; Riku listened in on the other one. Kairi blinked, waiting. "Hello?" Sora asked. "Yes, this is Taco Bell. We've received several complaints from a number of different people saying that this number has called them, pretending to be our company." Sora and Riku exchanged looks. _We only pretended to be Pizza Hut!_ Sora thought. "We will have to take legal action," continued the voice. "Hang on, wait a second! We didn't do that!" Sora protested.

"We have called the police and they are reporting to your place of residence at the moment," said the voice on the phone. "What?" Sora's jaw dropped. "You can't do that! We're innocent!" "Sir, we received five complaints. This is more than enough. Have a nice night." The line went dead, and Sora and Riku stared at one another as though the Grim Reaper was standing in front of them.

"We are _so_ dead."

Back at the Castle that Never Was, Axel and Roxas high-fived each other and hid their laughter in their sleeves. If they woke up Luxord again, a flamethrower and many heavy objects would be involved.

**end day 5**

**(A/N: Prank calls just seem like the sort of thing Sora and Riku would do in their free time. For those who read this and were offended by the yaoi, I can't apologize enough—it was a suggestion given to me by a friend. I finished this chapter in only two days, so review and I'll post another one soon! Any suggestions?)**


	6. Fondue Network

Kingdom Hearts – 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

**Let's have a round of applause for the reviewers!**

**NARUfreak: **WHOA, you reviewed twice! Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it! 

**DemyxtheSquirrel: **Same to you!  I love you all!

**AroukiiTwins: **I'll always have something to say to you two. Andra-chan, Kiharu-chan! SISTAHS4EVR!!!!!!

**Yaaaayyy! Stay tuned for more randomness in Chapter 6!**

**(Sephiroth is shown on screen, wearing a leotard and tutu, as Cloud waves a pocketwatch in front of him, a hypnotism kit on the floor)**

**Cloud: When I snap my fingers, you will sing a song and do the disclaimer!**

**Seph: ...**

**Cloud: (snaps fingers)**

**Seph, dancing in a circle: I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout—**

**Cloud: o.o Painful visions.**

**Seph: White doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix, or the characters.**

**Cloud: Good! Now revert! (snaps fingers again)**

**Seph, awakening and staring from his outfit to Cloud to the kit: I'm going to kill you, Strife.**

**Cloud: Ehm...hehe...y'see, this was a birthday present from Aeris, and, and, and—OHMIGAWDPLEASEDON'TKILLMEIHAVEPEOPLETOGOHOMETOPLEASE!!!!!! (runs off)**

**Seph: ...baby.**

**Chapter 6 – Fondue Network**

Sora sat on the couch, bored, flipping through channels on TV. "Nothing's ever on," he complained to Riku, who was making sandwiches in the kitchen. "I can't help that," answered Riku calmly, spreading more peanut butter on his sandwich. "I don't run the cable company."

"Wouldn't it be great if we had our own show?" asked Sora, looking at Riku hopefully. The silver-haired boy shook his head. "It'd be canceled in a month." "Why?" "The ratings would suck." Sora paused. "Yeah...you're right. But it'd still be cool." "Whatever. Here you go." Riku handed him a sandwich, and Sora took a bite out of it. "PB and J again."

Riku shrugged. "It's all I felt like making." "We should make something better for lunch," said Sora, swallowing his bite. "I'll go look in the fridge. Maybe there's something in there I can use." Riku sank onto the couch. "Knock yourself out," he said tiredly, taking the remote from Sora's hand. Sora walked up to the fridge and pulled it open.

Packages of cheese stared back at him. He wondered how cheese could stare, but maybe that was because Kairi had drawn eyes on all the packages with Magic Marker. Sora took the cheese out of the fridge and plopped it on the counter. "What are you making?" called Riku, pausing on the Food Network, where the chef was making fondue. Sora pointed to the TV. "That."

"You're gonna make fondue?" Riku raised an eyebrow. "You don't even know how." Sora pouted. "Do too! It's easy! All you have to do is melt a bunch of cheese, and there you go," he explained. "Sure..." Riku rolled his eyes. "I guess I'd better make sure you don't hurt yourself. Let's see..." He looked back at the TV. "We'll need a special kind of pot to cook it in." Sora opened the cabinet and produced a fondue pot. "Check!"

"And we'll need oven mitts," said Riku. Sora pulled two pairs from the drawer. "Check!" "And we'll need bread." Sora opened the fridge and pulled out three loaves of bread. "Check!" "And we have cheese...okay. Let me use the oven." Riku walked up to the oven and turned it on. He then pulled out a cheese grater and began to grate the cheese (duh).

"Make sure all that's going in there is cheese," Sora warned, making sure there were no fingers in the fondue pot. "Relax," Riku sighed, handing Sora a large plate. "Start tearing up the bread." "Fine." Sora grabbed the plate and sat down at the table, ripping up pieces of bread while watching the chef on TV wave his fondue fork around.

Once Riku had grated all the cheese and Sora had torn up enough pieces of bread to feed an ant colony for several years, it was time to melt the cheese. "Ooh! Let me do it! Please?" Sora begged, giving Riku the Big-Blue-Puppy-Eyes look™. Riku sighed. "First I have to teach you how to use the oven," he said. "Okay!" Sora nodded vigorously. And so Riku gave Sora an in-depth tutorial on how to use the oven.

Sora seemed to have the situation under control, so Riku plopped down on the couch and stared at the TV. The cooking show was finished but it was easy enough to make fondue. He changed the channel to NASCAR and quickly fell asleep. Roaring engines always made him tired.

**Some time later...**

Riku awoke slowly, aware of how warm he was. _It must be the oven,_ he thought, turning over on the couch without opening his eyes. _The house heats up when you cook, right?_ But something was wrong with that. Even though his eyes weren't open, he knew the house was brighter than it usually was. The air was hotter, and there was an annoying buzzing sound coming from somewhere in the house. And to top it all off, there was a choking smell in the air. _Wait..._ Riku's eyes snapped open to find himself lying on a couch in the middle of a flaming house.

"SORA!" Riku yelled, jumping off the couch and running to the closet to find the fire extinguisher. "What did you do?!" "Nothing!" Sora cried, running in from outside with the garden hose. "I went to the bathroom and I came back and the house was on fire!" Riku sighed. "Smooth. Call 911!" "But, but—" "DO IT NOW!"

Within minutes, the fire deparment arrived and two firefighters came into the house, spraying Sora and Riku full-force with their foam hoses. The two boys fell flat on their backs as the rest of the house was hosed down, amazingly sparing the pot of melted cheese on the oven. They ran out as quickly as they had come in, leaving two pairs of eyes blinking in confusion in the middle of all the foam.

Riku slowly got up and spat a mouthful of foam out, wiping it from his clothes, face, and hair. "Never again," he said, looking at Sora. "That's the last time I let you cook." "It was fun!" protested Sora. "And look, our fondue is still okay!" He picked up the pot and the bag of bread pieces and ran outside onto the beach.

"Sora! Riku!" Kairi was running towards them looking worried. "I heard that Riku's house was on fire! What happened?" "We made fondue," said Sora. "Try some!" He dipped a piece of bread in the cheese and shoved it into Kairi's mouth, silencing her. Riku walked out of the house, still drenched and now with the nasty taste of foam in his mouth. "Give me some of that," he said to Sora, dunking his bread into the pot. Slowly, the others on the islands came to join them, and the pot was gone.

"Well, that was interesting," said Riku, watching in a combination of horror and amusement as the moogle from Chapter 2 began to eat the fondue pot. "Sora?" "Hmm?" The spiky-haired boy turned to face the silver-haired boy. "Someone's here to see you."

Sora turned around to see a bear taller than he was, wearing a fedora and hiking equipment, towering over him. "Remember," growled the bear, jabbing a finger into Sora's face, "only YOU can prevent forest fires!" He walked away, leaving Sora quite traumatized. "Um," Riku began, but Sora interrupted him. "BEAR!!! WILD BEAR!!! SOMEONE CALL ANIMAL CONTROL!! THE FBI! CIA! DOMINO'S PIZZA!!!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled the FBI, CIA, Domino's Pizza, and Taco Bell. They had already been bothered in Chapter 1 and didn't want to come back again. The animal control did come, however, shooting a net at Sora and driving away in their fancy truck.

"This is so unfair," Sora cried from inside the net. Riku patted him on the back. "You'll be okay. Look on the bright side...I don't ever have to do chores again."

**(A/N: And that's the chapter! It went pretty quickly, to tell you the truth. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. )**


	7. The All American Deck Fest

Kingdom Hearts – 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

**Thanks to the reviewers!**

**MusicalMuggle:** You did that on purpose. :P Glad you liked it anyways.

**lunarxshinobi:** Thanks for the support!

**Aww, only two this time. But then again, Chapter 6 wasn't posted all that long ago. Remember, if you like what you see, don't forget to review!**

**NOTE: This chapter is based off of something that happened in 8th grade, when we played improv games in drama.**

**(A yellow taxi cab pulls up to Sora's house)**

**Sora: RIKU! KAIRI! COME ON! He's here!**

**Riku: Sora, you forgot your toothbrush!**

**Kairi: Riku, your hair gel!**

**Sora: Mr. Taxi Driver! Do the disclaimer!**

**Taxi Driver: (sighs) White doesn't own Square-Enix, Disney, Kingdom Hearts, or the characters. Or McDonalds. Or Mobil. Now hurry up and get in the taxi.**

**Sora: All right! w00t! Finally!**

**Riku: ...did you just say w00t?**

**Sora: ...sorry.**

**Chapter 7 – The All-American Deck Fest**

Tim was _not_ a happy taxi driver. He was paid minimum wage plus tips, he got the worst taxi in the company (and it was painted shocking pink), people forgot to behave and ripped up the seats; the list went on and on. But never before had he been so annoyed. A nerve was going above his eye and he had a pounding migraine headache. Why?

Because Sora, Riku, and Kairi were in the back seat, fighting over a bag of barbecue chips.

Those three teenagers had to have been the _worst_ clients Tim had ever seen. They were loud, they kicked the seat and caused him to go smashing face-first into the steering wheel and honk the horn quite loudly (which had once scared a little old lady and a flock of geese), they argued and made noise and ate and asked if they were there yet. _Unbelievable._

Yes, and of course, it _had_ to be _Tim_ who had the job of carrying them over five hundred miles across the country. And _why?_

Because Sora, Riku, and Kairi were going to the All-American Deck Fest.

Sora had been the one who had found the announcement in his summer edition of _Good Housekeeping_. There would be a contest on who had the best patio, the best sunroom, the best balcony, and of course, the best deck. Prizes would be given and there would be an awards ceremony, but Sora wasn't going for the awards ceremony. He was going for the free food! Even Sora would go five hundred miles for free food.

Tim was currently driving along the Interstate 94, dodging trucks and traffic to get there as fast as he could. People were beeping at him from every side, but Tim didn't care. He needed some Tylenol, NOW, and his packet was almost gone. He reached inside his pocket to grab the last pill, but at that moment, Riku kicked the seat savagely and he took a nose-dive into the steering wheel, getting a bloody nose and scaring the bajeebers out of Old Man Jenkins, who was driving in front of them.

"Sorry about that," Riku apoligized, as Tim stuffed Kleenex into his nose. "Forget it," Tim grumbled, wishing that he would crash so that he could die right now. But of course, life wasn't going to give up that easily. Tim didn't crash, and he and his passengers stayed alive.

For now.

A song came on the radio just then, and Sora's gloved hand shot out and turned it up. "I love this song," he explained, as Tim glared at him. "Come on, Riku! Come on, Kairi! Sing with me!" He threw arms around their shoulders and sang:

_Life is a highway,_

_I wanna ride it,_

_All night long!_

_If you're going my way,_

_I wanna drive it_

_All night long!_

Sora played some air guitar, nearly stranging Riku and Kairi, whom he still had his arms around. "Sora, let go!" Riku gasped, pushing Sora off him. "Oh...sorry." Sora stopped playing and released his friends, who collapsed, grateful. He looked out the window and spotted a Mobil station, and then pointed to it.

"Hey Mister Taxi Driver! Can we stop there?" Sora asked. "No," replied Tim, feeling his headache get worse. "Please?" asked Sora. "No." "_Please?_" "No." "Why not?" "Because I'm the driver and I said no." "But I need to!" Sora protested. "Why?" asked Tim, turning around to face Sora. "Um," Riku began, but Sora interrupted him. "'Cause I gotta PEE!"

Kairi blushed the color of tomato sauce and Riku scooted away from Sora as he squirmed around in his seat. "Oh, for the love of—" But Tim had forgotten he wasn't watching the road anymore. "LOOK OUT FOR THAT TREE!" Riku screamed, pointing ahead of them. Tim turned around and yanked the steering wheel just in time to avoid hitting a tree that had been planted in the middle of the road.

"What the hell?" Tim wondered aloud, looking through his mirrors at the tree. "You said a bad word," Sora accused, bathroom forgotten. "So what," said Tim, but just then Riku kicked the seat on purpose, sending Tim flying into the steering wheel again and scaring a deer by the side of the road, which ran back into the forest. "Don't be mean to Sora," he said, and Tim growled but didn't say anything.

Apparently Sora didn't have to use the bathroom anymore, because he behaved quite nicely for the next ten or so miles. That was, until he spotted a McDonalds on the side of the road. "Hey Mister Taxi Driver!" Sora yelled again, pointing again. "Can we stop THERE?" "No," Tim replied, forcing himself not to scream and cry and try to rip his hair out.

"But I'm HUNGRY," Sora whined. "You just ate half a bag of barbecue chips," Riku said, blinking. "SO! I want a Big Mac!" "YOU. JUST. ATE. CHIPS," said Riku again, but was drowned out as something outside the taxi screamed "CHIPS!!" "What the..." Tim tried to swerve again as something jumped at the taxi and smacked into the windshield, its face pressed against the glass. "MINE!" It was a guy with red hair, who was eyeing the chips hungrily.

"GET OFF MY TAXI!" Tim shrieked out the window, trying to remove the guy with a pair of pliers as the taxi ran over the Pink Panther. "CHIPS!" cried the guy again, trying to reach through the other window. Tim crawled out of his window and stood on the top of the car as the taxi smashed into Yogi Bear and Droopy, and then headed straight for—

"TREE!" Sora screamed, and Riku flung himself into the front seat to grab the steering wheel and yank it to the right just in time to avoid hitting another tree. "TIM! GET BACK IN HERE!" Riku screeched at the taxi driver, who was beating the red-haired guy over the head with the pliers. "No good; he can't hear us!" Sora yelled, pushing Riku into the driver's seat. "This would be good if _I knew how to drive!_" Riku cried, randomly pushing buttons on the dashboard. He blinked as a jet of water shot out, drenching the red-haired guy, and the windshield wipers came on and crashed into his face.

"Nope, wrong button." Riku pushed a few more and, as Sora and Kairi watched, the interior lights came on, the blinkers started flashing, the back wipers turned on and the air conditioning blasted in their faces. "RIKU, TURN IT OFF!" Sora cried, hugging Kairi for warmth as he began to freeze. "GOTCHA!" came the cry from above, and all three turned to see Tim fling the red-haired guy into a nearby bush filled with thorns. "OW!"

"Welcome back," said Riku as Tim climbed into the taxi again and Riku climbed into the back seat. "What happened as I was gone?" Tim asked, shutting the door. Riku whistled innocently. "Oh, nothing."

xxx

Sora pouted as they walked out of the convention center. "That was lame! We went five hundred miles for THAT? All they had were sausage rolls and deviled eggs! And I HATE deviled eggs!" Sora complained. Riku shrugged one shoulder. Kairi walked out clutching an armful of brochures and guides and slumped against the taxi. "And now it'll be five hundred miles back..."

Tim looked ready to cry. Riku put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, pal. I share your pain."

**The End – Day...what are we on now?**

**(A/N: And there you have it! Oh, and by the way, the red-haired guy belongs to L.M.Alexandra R., so no stealing! He likes chips.  Review if you like what you see!)**

**Review Button: CLICK MEH!**


	8. The Secret Behind Sora's Shoes

Kingdom Hearts – 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

**Reviewer love!**

**Musical Muggle:** ;) I'd recognize that PenName anywhere.

**Pyro Madz:** Thanks for the suggestion! I've already got an idea for this chapter tho, so maybe next time. And no, there's nothing like an angry Cloud in the morning.

**BloodSkye:** A lot of other people seemed to think it was Axel too, but it's not...

**lunarxshinobi:** You review for almost every chapter! 

**AroukiiTwins:** ;P 'Course I would read it...what did you think?

**Sorry if I missed any reviewers...you'll be included in the next chapter if I did!**

**(A clown car is driving down a random road in the middle of nowhere)**

**Clown#1: We're so totally lost.**

**Clown#2: Are not!**

**Clown#1: Are too!**

**Clown#3: Look, there's a sign up ahead.**

**Clown#1: Yeah, it says... 'White does not own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix, Disney, or any of the characters'. Huh. Wonder what that means.**

**Clown#2: And there's a sign over there... '...and she is not gaining profit from this whatsoever.'**

**Clown#3: Just shush and keep driving.**

**Chapter 8 – The Secret Behind Sora's Shoes**

At present, Xaldin was quite busy. Oh yes, quite busy indeed. He had finally gotten hold of the location of that pointy-haired kid and his friends, and was now about to carry out the Superior's plan to get rid of them. He crept along the dirt path, inch by inch, slowly raising a lance silently as he neared the back of the pointy-haired kid, who sat in the dirt in front of him, watching a caterpillar crawl up his hand.

_This is it,_ thought Xaldin. _The moment when I can finally knock Xigbar out of that #2 position and claim it for myself...! Everyone _knows_ that I deserve that spot more!_ He grinned widely, preparing to bring the lance down on that spiky head, just before he heard a vigorous honking behind him.

Xaldin didn't even have time to turn around before a yellow VW Beetle smashed right into him, throwing him across the island with so much force that he went flying smack into a billboard conveniently placed by the side of the road, crashing right through it.

Sora looked up from where he was playing with the caterpillar to see the car stopped innocently behind him. He looked over in the other direction at the billboard, in which Xaldin was still hanging, incapacitated. It had once said 'Eat at Joe's', but now was only a collection of hanging splinters.

"I TOLD you, this is the wrong stop." "No it isn't! I'm the one with the map!" Arguing voices reached Sora's ears as he continued to play quietly with the caterpillar, which was inching up his arm now. From out of the Beetle spilled what must have been ten clowns, wearing harshly bright clothes and sporting fake noses and flowers. This, if anything, caught Sora's attention.

"Clowns!" He jumped off the path, causing the poor caterpillar on his arm to go flying, and ran over to the group. "Is the circus in town? Huh? IS IT?" The clowns stared at Sora in confusion for a moment, until one of them pointed at him excitedly. "No...! It can't be!" The other clowns moved out of the way to allow the first one through. "FLUORINE?"

"Huh?" Sora blinked at him. "It has to be! You're Fluorine! The runaway who we last heard from three years ago!" The clown grinned at him. "Don't you remember us?" He motioned to himself, and then the others. Sora blinked again. "...No, can't say so." "He must have lost his memory," said a different clown, and whispers floated through the crowd. "We must take him back and make him remember!" "What makes you think I'm a clown?" Sora asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why, the shoes of course! Just look at them!" cried the first clown, and the others nodded in agreement.

"So you're saying I was a clown in a previous life?" Sora asked, still not quite understanding. "No, no, dear Fluorine. Just come with us, and we'll put you right." The clowns picked Sora up, loaded him into their bright yellow Beetle, and zoomed off, heading for the Big Top tent in the distance.

All was silent, until the busted billboard (from which Xaldin still hung) gave a loud CRACK.

"Oh no," Xaldin moaned, as the board began to give way, "OH NO!" Within five seconds, it had crumbled and caused him to go tumbling to the ground, where he landed facedown, quite ruffled. "Hey, you," said a voice, and Xaldin looked up to see a silver-haired boy and a red-haired girl standing over him. "Wanna tell us where Sora is?" Xaldin groaned and closed his eyes. "This is NOT my day."

**At the circus...**

Sora stared at his reflection in the mirror, admiring his bright red nose. "I still can't remember anything about me being a clown," he said, examining his new costume. "I like the outfit though." The clowns sighed in exasperation.

After rudely plucking Sora off the ground, the clowns had driven him back to the circus, where they had thrown him into his 'old' costume and painted his face. Apparently, his name was Fluorine and he was the clown that had run away from the circus three years earlier. But try as he might, Sora couldn't remember any of that. The clowns thought that he might have amnesia, and he agreed.

"My name's Sora," he told them. "I live on Destiny Islands, with my friends Riku and Kairi, and my parents of course. I had a squirrel named Skip. But we put him in the pool during an electrical storm and the lightning shocked the water and he got zapped. But that's okay, because then I got a goldfish. And then we forgot to feed him so we had to flush him down the toilet. Then we tried getting a turtle but all he does is just sit there and not do anything. So now I can't get anymore pets." And of course, Sora had said all this within three seconds or so.

But the clowns had never heard of Destiny Islands, or anyone named Sora. All they knew was Fluorine and the circus, and they were determined to get Sora to know that life too.

**Back on Destiny Islands...**

"WHO took Sora WHERE?" Riku, Kairi, Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka were sitting in front of Xaldin, who they had tied to a palm tree and tortured with seagull feathers. "It was the aliens," said Tidus, smacking his fist into his empty palm. "No, it was the magic tree monkeys!" argued Selphie. Riku sighed, ignoring the kids. "So, Kairi...how are we going to go get Sora back?"

"We could wait until they put on a show," Kairi thought. "And then as Sora's in the ring, we could swoop down and—" "Whoa, whoa, what? Swoop down from where?" Riku interrupted. "The ceiling. So, anyways, we swoop down and grab him, and then escape!" Kairi looked up with a wild gleam in her eyes. Riku sweatdropped. "That'd be great...if any of us were Superman. But no one is Superman so we need a different strategy."

"We could always try this," said Wakka, motioning for them to come closer. Xaldin, excluded from the conversation and still twitching from the feather torture, sighed. What was the Superior going to say _now?_

**The next day, at the circus...**

"I really don't wanna do this." Sora and the clowns were backstage, preparing for that day's show. "But Fluorine, you were our best jumper," said one of the clowns. "Don't tell me you lost your skills too!" "Um...well, I DID beat Riku in that race, and I had to jump pretty high to get up on the watch tower," Sora said. "See! You still have it! Now get out there and make us proud!" The clown patted him on the back.

Sora sighed, looking up at the ceiling...or what he could see of it past his big red nose. _Riku, Kairi...I wonder what you're doing._

**Up in the stands...**

"All right. I understand why I'm here," said Riku, looking at Kairi, "and why you're here, and why Tidus and Wakka and Selphie are here." He jabbed a finger behind him at Xaldin, who was tied to a giant wooden plank and gagged. "But why the HELL is HE here?" "That's a secret," said Kairi, smiling secretly. "But I'll ruin it if I tell you. So you have to wait." Riku raised an eyebrow. "Okay, whatever."

"PEANUTS!" screamed Selphie, pouncing on the vendor who was handing them out. Tidus helped and Wakka watched in confusion as they wrestled away the peanuts and threw them to the crowd. Riku sighed.

**Backstage...**

"All right Fluorine, it's showtime," said one of the clowns, as the lights in the tent dimmed. "When they blow the whistle, you're going to climb up the ladder and jump into the glass of water." "But won't that hurt?" asked Sora, following the clowns to a separate room. "I mean...the glass is so much smaller than me. I might break it." "Don't worry about that, we've seen you jump hundreds of times!" said the clown, patting Sora on the back. "If I had jumped into a glass of water a hundred times, I would have broken a hundred glasses," said Sora, but walked out into the ring.

**In the stands...**

"Oh look, it's starting!" Selphie pointed into the ring, where the ringmaster was making his usual very loud announcement. "Oh goody." Riku yawned, but stopped as he saw someone he knew. "Look, there's Sora!" "About time," said Kairi, pulling out an enormous bow from nowhere. "Where did you get THAT?" Riku demanded, gaping at the weapon; it was five times bigger than he was. "Nevermind that! This is how I'm going to get Sora back!"

"You're going to SHOOT him?" Riku asked, as Kairi bent down on one knee and adjusted the bow's aim. "Of course not, stupid," said Kairi, fixing the string. "I'm going to shoot AT him! This is where Mr. Braids comes in." "You mean him?" Riku raised an eyebrow at Xaldin, who by now looked very scared indeed. "Yep," said Kairi, beaming. "And how exactly are you going to do this?" asked Riku.

"Oh, it's quite simple, really. As Sora jumps off the diving board towards the glass, I'm going to shoot Mr. Braids, who is tied to this wooden board, at him. He'll catch Sora on the board and they'll fly over to the other side of the tent, which is where I stationed Wakka. He'll grab Sora and go while we create a distraction to get ourselves out of here!" Kairi smiled happily. "If this actually works, it's going to be a miracle," said Riku.

"Guys, Sora's gonna jump!" squealed Selphie, and they all looked towards the diving board, where Sora was standing, preparing to spring. "Riku, now! Help me get Mr. Braids into position!" Kairi said. Riku shrugged and picked up the board to which Xaldin was tied, carrying it over to the bow. He and Kairi fixed the "arrow" so that it was pointing somewhere towards the middle of Sora's estimated path. A drumroll played somewhere in the distance. Then, Sora jumped. "NOW!" Kairi cried, and she and Riku let go of Xaldin.

Except Xaldin didn't go flying towards Sora. He and the board dropped straight down like an anvil, smacking quite a few people over the head as Selphie and Tidus shrieked and Kairi frowned. "I told you it wouldn't work," said Riku. Sora, in the meantime, who had heard the screams, looked up and forgot to focus on his landing, and so fell flat on his face.

"This is SO not a good day," Xaldin moaned, lying in the wreckage of the broken board. "I'll be demoted for sure. Now I'll NEVER get that Number 2 spot...CURSE YOU, XIGBAR! YOU AND YOUR SURFER ACCENT MIGHT HAVE WON FOR NOW, BUT YOU'LL SEE!" "Shut up!" screamed the entire audience, Riku, Sora, the clowns, and a squirrel.

"Sora!" Kairi cried, jumping into the ring and running towards him. "Are you okay?" "I think so," said Sora, sitting up, "only I keep seeing stars. And dancing chocobos. Is that normal?" "For you, it is," said Kairi, hugging him. "Can we go home now?" called Tidus from the stands. "Selphie ran out of peanuts and I want to take a nap." "Come on, Sora, let's go," said Kairi. "Wait!" cried one of the clowns. "Why are you taking Fluorine away? He's our best man!" "Dude, what are you talking about?" asked a voice, and everyone looked up to see Axel standing there.

"That's not Fluorine," said Axel, "I am!" "WHAT?" Everyone's mouths dropped open as they stared at him. "Well, duh; why else do you think I have these weird marks on my eyes?" asked Axel, raising an eyebrow at them. "Seriously." "FLUORINE!" The clowns launched themselves at Axel, while everyone else decided it would be a good time to leave.

**Back at home, an hour later...**

"How stupid were those clowns to get Sora mixed up with Axel?" asked Kairi. "Yeah, I know...but really, Sora, we have to get you some new shoes," said Riku. "We can't have this happening again." "You know what I just realized?" asked Sora. "That you have poor fashion sense?" asked Kairi. "No, that White didn't add a song in this chapter. I think that might be the first one without one. So let's all sing one together." Kairi and Riku nodded, and so they sang.

_CE-LE-BRATE good times, come on!_

_-doo doo doo doo, etc.-_

Even though everyone, including the author, only knew the chorus, they sang anyways. Because it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings.

**In a dark, dark room...**

Xemnas shook his head. "Xaldin, you have been foolish...you've led me to do the ultimate crime. The maximum punishment. The unthinkable, UNSPEAKABLE OF ALL ACTIONS!"

He clicked the mouse, and in a second, Xaldin was moved from Number 4 on his Myspace Top Five to Number 5.

**END – DAY 8**

**(A/N: Ordinarily, I HATE clowns, but I had to. Sora's shoes...Axel's eyes...it just fit. Keep scrolling down to find the bonus for the next chapter!)**

**BONUS: THE 101 WAYS Q AND A SESSION-**

**That's right, the cast of 101 Ways is hosting their very own Q and A! Just send in your question along with your review, but make sure it includes the name of the person you're asking it to! Then, in Chapter 9, that character will answer it for you! (CONTEST EFFECTIVE UNTIL CHAPTER 9 COMES OUT! SO GET WRITING!)**


	9. Question Corner-Into the Light (FINAL)

Kingdom Hearts - 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By: whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

**Chapter 9 - The Ultra Super Mega Question Corner of DOOM**

To start things off, I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix, Disney, or the characters, or anything else I might be sued for.

"Hello there!" Sora waved and smiled at the camera, his face appearing on the screen. "Me and Riku and anyone else you've got a question for are here to answer your fanmail! So bring it on!"

Riku handed Sora a piece of paper. "Here's the first one." Sora took the paper. "Our first question comes from lunarxshinobi, who says, 'Hi Sora! How do you get your hair so awesomely and smexily spiky?'" Riku grabbed the paper back. "Are you sure you didn't make some of those words up to get a better audience reaction?" "Hey, give that back." Sora snatched it away, pouting. "Sorry about that." He grinned at the camera.

"Anyways…hmm, how _do_ I get my hair this way?" He tugged at one of the spikes. "Maybe it gets that way overnight. Or maybe aliens come and style it when I sleep! Nah…I use this." He slammed a bottle of gel onto the table. "I don't think I've really seen myself with my hair down. I've even forgotten what I look like that way! Does anyone know?" He scratched his head.

"Next question." Riku set a huge stack of papers onto the table. "These are all from BloodSkye." "Jeez!" Sora gaped at the pile. "I guess I'll ask the first one," said Riku. "Umm…oh, a lot of these are for the Organization. Hey guys, come on out." A door opened at the back of the room, yielding the members of Organization XIII. "First question is for Xemnas," said Riku. "It asks… 'Can you, as a Nobody, take others' hearts, make them your own, and absorb the powers that the person who previously owned the heart had?'"

Xemnas blinked. "If I had known how to do that, maybe we would have existed by now, wouldn't you think?" Riku shrugged and sweatdropped. "I'm just reading the questions." "Next is for Axel!" Sora chirped, and the redhead nodded. "Okay… 'Axel: Why DO you have those marks under your eyes?'" Axel sighed. "In all honesty, I have no idea. Maybe someone drew them on with permanent marker after a drinking game or something." Sora flushed and Riku coughed loudly.

"Next is for Xaldin," said Riku, shifting the papers. "Um…I don't want to read it." "Then I will!" Sora snatched it away and read aloud, " 'Xaldin: Have you ever stabbed something and felt like saying "Stabbity Death!"?'" Xaldin blinked. "Why, in the entire solar system and galaxy and universe and space-time continuum, would you think that?" A split second later he whipped out a spear; Axel pulled Demyx away just in time to avoid seeing the brunette's head split in half. "STABBITY DEATH!" Xaldin screamed, causing the entire room to sweatdrop.

"Okay, this question is for Luxord." Riku brought the paper closer to his face. "Umm… 'Do you bleach your hair?'" Luxord raised an eyebrow. "Is that a legal question? Because I think it is not. I do not think that such a question should be allowed. Yes, I bleach my hair." Riku stared at him strangely and then shook his head. "Here, Sora, next." Sora pounced on the next question.

"Okay…this question is for me, Roxas, Xemnas, Axel, Demyx, and Cloud. Wow. That's a lot of people," he said, as Cloud walked into the room. "It asks, 'How many bottles of hair gel do you go through in a week?'" Sora smiled at the screen. "I use three!" "Four," said Cloud, emotionlessly. "Same," said Roxas, in the same tone. "Two," said Axel; Demyx raised one finger, and Xemnas blinked. "My hair is natural." "Yeah right," retorted Xigbar, who was silenced by a deathglare.

"It looks like that's all the questions we have," said Riku, attempting to find another paper and finding nothing. "But we're only on Page 2," said Sora, sulking. "Chapters have to be four pages minimum. White's orders." "But how are we going to fill up the remaining one and a half pages?" Riku asked. "I don't know. We could think up ideas for the next chapter," said Sora, grabbing a pen. "But we already know what the next chapter is going to be," objected Riku, as a fight broke out in the back of the room.

"I told you, no pepperoni!" Axel shrieked at Xigbar. "I hate pepperoni!" "Well, some of us hate mushrooms," Xigbar countered, as Axel gasped. "How could you hate mushrooms?! They're the best!" "I hate anchovies," Demyx piped up, raising a hand. "No one asked you!" the first two scowled, and Demyx's face fell. "Meanies." "I eat everything," said Roxas, rewarded with the same reaction.

From where he sat in the middle of the room, Sora looked around. He had been sitting here in this room for a very long time-years, in fact. How many years had it been now? He felt like he had just come back to life after having been in solitude for quite a while. Beside him, Riku was also looking around, as though just now realizing where he was. It had been five years, they realized, since they had last been here.

"What have we been doing all this time?" asked Sora of Riku, who shook his head slowly. "I feel like we've been frozen. What do you remember?" "We were doing the question and answer panel," said Sora, looking behind him; the members of the Organization and Cloud were still there, poring over a pizza menu and deciding what to order. It was as though nothing had changed since five years ago, though he felt as though those memories were hard to recall now.

"What about all of our readers?" asked Sora, and Riku shook his head. "I don't know where they are right now. Some might come back, if they remember us. But I'm sure many of them have grown up. They might not play video games anymore or talk to the same people they did five years ago. They might have moved away or graduated from high school or college. They might even have kids now." Sora's face fell. "That's kind of sad."

"But that doesn't mean they've forgotten about us," said Riku. "Maybe once in a while, they think about us and remember our names and our voices and what we look like. They might remember the adventures they had with us and the inspiration we gave them." "But what if they hated us?" asked Sora, and Riku sighed. "Well, then I guess they wouldn't have read about us, would they? But I'm sure they are off having great lives somewhere in the world."

"So then…does that mean that we won't be making these stories anymore?" asked Sora, and Riku shrugged. "Who knows. Maybe, some day in the future, things will calm down and we'll be able to hang out like we used to. But for now, there's too much to do." Sora frowned. "But I don't want to stop hanging out! I don't want to go into real life!" "Even if we do go into real life, we'll still be friends," Riku reassured him. "We'll still be able to call each other up and talk about what we want to do and maybe come over once in a while. And I'm sure that we'll be able to make all kinds of great stories too, if we want to."

Sora sighed. He thought a while. And then, he nodded. "Okay. It doesn't sound like very much fun, but I understand. We can't always be together, even if we want to. But we can always think about each other and be together that way." Riku smiled. "This is starting to sound familiar." "So what should we do?" asked Roxas, coming over. "It can't end like this, can it? It's too soon and too sad." "I don't want it to end like this, but I can't see any other way," said Riku. "I figured that we needed some closure."

"So then let's all go do something. Throw a party or something," suggested Roxas. "We can't just leave without seeing everyone again." "That sounds like a good idea," said Riku, and no sooner had the words left his lips than the door opened again and in poured the rest of the Organization, Leon, Yuffie, Aeris, and everyone else they had seen throughout the years.

"What about these other people?" asked Sora, pulling up the internet. "There's some people called Xion and Ven and Terra-" "White can't afford a DS, a PSP, or a PS3," explained Riku, "so she's never been able to play these games and meet these people." "Aww." Sora's face fell again. "Guess we'll have to continue on with who we know." "Who'd wanna make a story with strangers?" asked Riku, raising an eyebrow. "Anyways, so what are we even doing at this party?"

"Beats me," said Roxas. "I think we ordered pizza." The door banged open again and a pizza guy came in, balancing a stack of boxes precariously and trying to find a table to set them on before he spilled them everywhere. Axel and Xaldin took them from him as he whipped out their receipt; Demyx took ten minutes to try and find where he'd dropped his wallet, since he was the one paying for everyone.

"We need music too," said Riku, and Roxas pulled out the busted guitar that Sora had sent flying into him five years ago. "We have this." "Lemme see that!" Sora grabbed it out of his hand and plopped down on the couch, trying to strum the broken strings; one snapped off and slapped him in the face. "OW!"

"And what about entertainment?" asked Riku. He looked around. In the corner Luxord and Marluxia were playing cards while Axel and the pizza guy watched, as Demyx was still tearing the room apart looking for his wallet. Saix and Zexion were sparring with foam bats and Kairi was drawing eyes on the donkey that she had pinned up on the wall for later. "I guess we have that covered?" Roxas wondered aloud, as there was another "ow" from the couch as Sora fought with the stray strings.

Suddenly, before Riku could ask anything else, the lights went out and plunged them all into complete darkness. "What's this?" "I didn't do it!" Sora came flying off the couch and plowed straight into Riku, sending them flopping onto the floor in a tangled pile. "Sora, get off of me." "Sorry. Ow," he apologized, as they knocked heads. "It's for everyone," explained Kairi, "to let them know that, even if we're apart, we'll always be together."

A light appeared in the corner, and Riku looked up to find everyone crowded around a giant cake that was sitting next to the pizza boxes, lit with a hundred candles. Something was written on it in icing, and as he came closer he realized that it said 'thank you'. "Thank you for what?" asked Riku. "For everything," said Kairi. "For being with us this whole time. For making some peoples' lives a little bit brighter. And, most importantly, for never forgetting about your friends, even if a lot of time has passed."

Everyone had come to gather around the cake, watching the candles flicker; Sora's eyes were shining. "Okay, everyone, make a wish," said Kairi, and they all closed their eyes, thinking. Riku thought hard. What would he wish for? What did he want? He wanted the story to go on, but he knew that right now, he couldn't wish for that. He wanted to be able to spend a little more time with everyone, but the future was uncertain-he didn't know what tomorrow held. He wanted everyone to remember him, but he knew that not everyone wanted to.

And then, it came to him. _I wish…_ He opened his eyes. _I wish that someone, somewhere out there, will read this._ He looked from person to person, watching their eyes, their expressions. _And maybe, even if just for a few moments, they'll think about us and smile. They'll remember the times they had together with us and they'll think back on those days, and be happy._ "Okay, everyone blow out the candles!" came Kairi's voice, and Riku found himself taking a deep breath with everyone, blowing out the candles with everyone, feeling his eyes sting with tears that had appeared from nowhere. The candles extinguished with a bright flash as, together, they glowed brilliantly for a split second. He stood watching the smoke drift into the air as everyone applauded, the room echoing with the sound, and thought back over the last few years. It had been fun, and he would always treasure the memories he had. But now, it was time to go home.

_Everyone, thank you. We may not have spoken very much, and you may no longer remember me. You might be a new friend, or reading this for the first time. But no matter what, I'm glad that you came and found it. It really means a lot to me. Maybe, one day, I'll come back and spend some more time with all of you. I don't want you to wait too long for me, because I may never return. But keep me in the back of your mind, at least for a little bit. Without you, this wouldn't be here…and neither would I._ Riku smiled, his hand on the doorknob as he pulled the door open, squinting at the bright light beyond. _I'll see you again sometime._

He took a step forward into the light.

**-fin-**


End file.
